Self Talk

Self talk is often negative and repetitive (looping) and damaging

Negative Self Talk is an insidious form of Self-Flagellation

 

What is Self-flagellation

.Noun-1. self-flagellation self-punishment inflicted by whipping
self-punishment punishment inflicted on yourself

Is your internal conversation full of self-punishment?

If thats you, or a significant part of you you need to be aware that your thoughts are worked upon by your subconscious mind  to become reality.  How healthy is your self talk.

Your subconscious mind has no concept of reality or imaginary
Your subconscious mind, listening to your self talk, is taking in these messages and absorbing them like a sponge.  It doesn’t distinguish between real or imagined it just processes the information.

Your unconscious  is working behind the scenes to bring those messages to life, to your life.

Your subconscious mind just accepts what is delivered to it. 

Most interesting is the fact that your sub-conscious does not process negatives.

When you say to yourself dont spill the coffee it hears the message spill the coffee and it takes enormous conscious effort not to spill the coffee.

A better thought to give your subconscious would be keep it steady and then if your conscious mind is distracted elsewhere your subconscious, having already been instructed to keep it steady will work to do just that.

Self-Punishment inflicts significant damage

Negative internal dialogue is a serious problem as it will, over time and amongst other things, deliver a very poor self image.
It will erode self-confidence and destroy your self-worth.

Negative thoughts create negative results in your life so it is a worthwhile exercise to re-program your thought processes.

Negative Self Talk De-Motivates

Continued negative feedback in your internal dialogue will not motivate you to better performance.
It will demoralise you and absorb your energy and cause you to lose your motivation and initiative.

Understanding that all you ever receive is feedback gives you the opportunity to deliver that feedback in a positive style.

Self-flagellation is your enemy!

Positive reinforcement is your friend.

You have a choice!

How do you become a positive reinforcer rather than a negative enforcer?

  • Dont think of you as a happy successful positive person just now.

What did you see in your minds eye?

Im sure it was a vision of a positive, successful and happy you.

Hold on, didn’t I tell you not to think of  you as a happy successful positive person just now.

You see now that you cant help but think about something you have been told not to think about.

Lets try another old favourite

  • Dont think of a pink elephant

My guess is you imagined a pink elephant in your mind before you were able to consciously think of something else to replace the instruction.

There is help for you in that last line.

Convert the instructions to your subconscious 

With a little knowledge and practice you can change the messages to be positive.

As an example

Imagine now listening to this little put-down going on inside your head everyday on a replay cycle.
“I’m a failure, I always make a mess of things.  No-one can rely on me.  Just a waste of space on this planet, a real oxygen depletion zone!”

Now those are pretty damaging thoughts to be listening to and often they come in a loop that plays over and over and .  like an old vinyl record with a scratch that would catch the needle.

Lets play with it

“Im a failure” could be “I didn’t succeed here and I wasnt the success I wanted today”. Here our subconscious processes succeed or success.

“I always make a mess of things” shifts to “I wasn’t too tidy or I’m usually much tidier”.

“No-one can rely on me” may translate to “I am usually more reliable” or “I will become more reliable tomorrow”.

“Just a waste of space on this planet, a real oxygen depletion zone” is a little more tricky and is quite an powerful negative driver.

Well break it in two –

“Just a waste of space on this planet” transforms to “My space here is valuable” or “Just working to make my space on this planet a valuable spot”.

“A real oxygen depletion zone”  to “I can use my energy better and oxygen, the power of life, use deserves better results from me”.

In doing this we end up with thoughts being processed that have a positive intention.

  • I didnt succeed here, I wasnt too tidy. I am usually more reliable.  Just have to make my space on this planet valuable, oxygen use deserves better results
  • I wasnt a success, I’m usually much tidier.  I must become more reliable.  Just have to ensure my space on this planet is valuable place and I’ll put that oxygen I use to better results
  • I didn’t succeed here and I wasn’t my tidiest. People can usually rely on me. Just work on making my space on this planet valuable, oxygen use deserves better results

If the last included the original “no-one can rely on me” the operative words there for our subconscious are “can rely on me” as the subconscious will ignore the negative no-one.

Following are some simple steps you can take-

  • First you can choose to ignore any negative self-talk.  Receive it and cast it aside.
  • You can receive them and turn them into positives, big positives is better. (That was partly done above)
  • You are the controller of your thoughts and by making the choice to deliver powerful positive messages to your subconscious you can change your world.
How do you make them bigger positive messages.
Once you have translated the negatives as above you need to question each of the negatives and consider the truth in them.
Im a failure, I always make a mess of things.  No-one can rely on me  Just a waste of space on this planet, a real oxygen depletion zone
Are you always a failure?  Find examples where you have succeeded and really soak in the sensations of your success.
Do you really always mess-up?  Find life examples that contradict that statement and again bathe in the sensations of your successes.
Is it true that no-one can rely on you? Look within and discover times when have you been reliable and relied upon.  Enjoy the feelings you had in those reliable instances.
Just a waste of space on this planet, a real oxygen depletion zone!  Is there a real shortage of space on the planet?  Not yet.  Oxygen depletion zone? Welcome to the animal kingdom where oxygen is depleted to maintain life.  There is still plenty of oxygen so think about it  can planet earth afford for you to have a bit of a bad moment in life and let you breathe.  Sure can.

Hypnosis is a powerful tool to assist in taking control of the negative internal chatter and you can discover that it is easy to use too.  A hypnotic session can really make your self talk a powerful ally as you choose how to deliver positive messages to your subconscious that erase the negatives.  Visualisation is another wonderful technique you can enjoy to bring about powerful changes in your life.

Remember your subconscious cant process the negatives (e.g.  not or no or dont ) and works only on the instruction part of the thought.
Create positive thoughts in your self talk and use reinforcers to change your world.

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